Hair Story

I was about to wash my hair and I started reflecting over a post I read in a natural hair group. This young girl was frustrated with her natural hair being so short and felt that it didnt look "right" unless it was covered with a long weave. It made me think about my own hair journey and how much of my identity is wrapped up in my hair. This is my response to her.

I will be honest. I had really, really long hair--I’m talking down to my butt--and it was always a fight when my mama tried to press it. I got my first relaxer when I was 7 years old and it made life easier on my mother and I. The thing is that my hair was so long it got in the way all the time. People would grab it and pull it to see if it was real, others would sit on it, and styling options were minimal because it was just too long and thick. I really hated it. Which is funny when I think about so many people that want long hair now.

Anywayz, I actually felt liberated the first time I cut it off--for a second. Then I was terrified because my whole life I was that "black girl with the long hair" and suddenly I had no identity. It took a while but I found myself again. I laughed, I cried, I grew out and cut my hair a couple more times, got a curl--all the while learning and growing. I have always been super sensitive to what others think of me and not getting any compliments is hard. Then I decided to go natural. I cut my relaxer off and had less than 1/2" of hair on my head. I was actually happy because I could do so much more without worrying about what my hair was gonna do. I felt a sense of freedom that I had never had before. I twisted it, braided it, wore a huge fro, wrapped it up, and pressed it. Now I am starting locs because my hair is getting too long and I’m tired of doing it. Some people like it but others looked at me funny. Once someone actually told me to "go back to Africa"--which would have hurt my feelings if I wasn’t actually from KS.

Ignorance runs deep sister and deprogramming does not happen overnight. There is no quick fix. There will come a time when everything just starts to make sense and you no longer care so much about what others think. You will actually start to feel bad for people who don’t recognize the beauty within themselves or the beauty in you. The compliments will outweigh the odd look or negative comment because you will be more secure with you. Plus, don’t think that you can’t wear different styles because your hair is natural. You just have to find what works for you and learn to love yourself regardless.