Today I am a little frustrated and currently in a rather pissy mood. I have a lot going on right now and some things (and people) are worse than others. Why am I in such a pissy mood you ask? After all, today is understanding cipher. And how do you get understanding? By doing the knowledge to wisdom. I have done the knowledge, I have an understanding, b.u.t. there is nothing I can do about my cipher, or at least certain parts of it. Organizatons that lack definite structure frustrate me. Even worse is the opposition I receive when trying to provide some semblance of structure. If you know better than you should do better, right? If I see lack of organization and I know how to organize than I should fix this. If everyone in the organizaton sees this same lack of organization, wants to be more organized, and knows that I know how to organize then my fixing this problem should be relatively simple. It should be--but it's not. You say you want something but when you have the opportunity to get it you are so set in your ways that you can't accept it. This is what has me in such a pissy mood. I know what the problem is, I am trying to work through it, I want success, but because I am not in the situation alone I am continuously met with resistance. I do something but it gets undone. I speak and it falls on deaf ears. With such egregious organizational apathy why do I keep trying?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Hair Story
I was about to wash my hair and I started reflecting over a post I read in a natural hair group. This young girl was frustrated with her natural hair being so short and felt that it didnt look "right" unless it was covered with a long weave. It made me think about my own hair journey and how much of my identity is wrapped up in my hair. This is my response to her.
I will be honest. I had really, really long hair--I’m talking down to my butt--and it was always a fight when my mama tried to press it. I got my first relaxer when I was 7 years old and it made life easier on my mother and I. The thing is that my hair was so long it got in the way all the time. People would grab it and pull it to see if it was real, others would sit on it, and styling options were minimal because it was just too long and thick. I really hated it. Which is funny when I think about so many people that want long hair now.
Anywayz, I actually felt liberated the first time I cut it off--for a second. Then I was terrified because my whole life I was that "black girl with the long hair" and suddenly I had no identity. It took a while but I found myself again. I laughed, I cried, I grew out and cut my hair a couple more times, got a curl--all the while learning and growing. I have always been super sensitive to what others think of me and not getting any compliments is hard. Then I decided to go natural. I cut my relaxer off and had less than 1/2" of hair on my head. I was actually happy because I could do so much more without worrying about what my hair was gonna do. I felt a sense of freedom that I had never had before. I twisted it, braided it, wore a huge fro, wrapped it up, and pressed it. Now I am starting locs because my hair is getting too long and I’m tired of doing it. Some people like it but others looked at me funny. Once someone actually told me to "go back to Africa"--which would have hurt my feelings if I wasn’t actually from KS.
Ignorance runs deep sister and deprogramming does not happen overnight. There is no quick fix. There will come a time when everything just starts to make sense and you no longer care so much about what others think. You will actually start to feel bad for people who don’t recognize the beauty within themselves or the beauty in you. The compliments will outweigh the odd look or negative comment because you will be more secure with you. Plus, don’t think that you can’t wear different styles because your hair is natural. You just have to find what works for you and learn to love yourself regardless.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Liberation of Literate Women (english paper)
Excerpt from English 4376 paper:
Silence is not always golden. It can become lackluster, old, and rusted like the bars of a cell in Sing-Sing. Silence overcompensates and overwhelms—encompassing all and nothing. Silence suffocates itself. It chokes on the word left unheard and the thought unspoken. Silence speaks volumes drowning its victims in a sea of vocabulary. Silence is so loud it deafens the ears of its listeners.
Silence is the method of the oppressive. It is the voice of injustice that speaks for “just us”. For those of us who have been used and abused by silence. For those of us who sit still when there are words to be written. For those of use who sit with pens clenched in fists while stories remain untold. For those of us who realize there are future generations to inform.
Silence is the beginning and the end—the alpha and omega—of the Revolution. The Revolution of wise words, thoughts, and actions. All it takes is one spark, one thought, one word, one voice to begin a chain of events that will make heads spin. In the beginning, this Revolution will not be televised. In the beginning, it will be written down and spoken aloud by our great-grandchildren. The Revolution will begin the liberation of millions of nations that can rise no higher than its women that raise its children.
In the end, this liberation will call silence out of hiding and challenge it to a debate it will surely lose because it doesn’t know which words to use. In the end, silence will be defeated so that men, women, and children of future generations will know they have options—know that more than one voice spoke them into existence. This Revolution is just the beginning. This Revolution is bigger than just us. It is for justice.
Silence is not always golden. It can become lackluster, old, and rusted like the bars of a cell in Sing-Sing. Silence overcompensates and overwhelms—encompassing all and nothing. Silence suffocates itself. It chokes on the word left unheard and the thought unspoken. Silence speaks volumes drowning its victims in a sea of vocabulary. Silence is so loud it deafens the ears of its listeners.
Silence is the method of the oppressive. It is the voice of injustice that speaks for “just us”. For those of us who have been used and abused by silence. For those of us who sit still when there are words to be written. For those of use who sit with pens clenched in fists while stories remain untold. For those of us who realize there are future generations to inform.
Silence is the beginning and the end—the alpha and omega—of the Revolution. The Revolution of wise words, thoughts, and actions. All it takes is one spark, one thought, one word, one voice to begin a chain of events that will make heads spin. In the beginning, this Revolution will not be televised. In the beginning, it will be written down and spoken aloud by our great-grandchildren. The Revolution will begin the liberation of millions of nations that can rise no higher than its women that raise its children.
In the end, this liberation will call silence out of hiding and challenge it to a debate it will surely lose because it doesn’t know which words to use. In the end, silence will be defeated so that men, women, and children of future generations will know they have options—know that more than one voice spoke them into existence. This Revolution is just the beginning. This Revolution is bigger than just us. It is for justice.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
adult retail stores: what are they good for? (english paper)
Excerpt from English 3300D paper:
Exiting the freeway, one can't help but notice a bright neon sign hanging above the plate glass windows along the front of the store. The parking lot is practically empty with the exception of a few cars. Traffic is sparse, but this is not unusual since it is half past midnight and the store closes at one o'clock. The atmosphere outside is quiet, allowing one's imagination to entertain thoughts of wonder, fear, and a strange sense of adventure. Looking at the lingerie-propped window displays through tinted glass, one can only imagine what world lies behind the door with "No one under eighteen allowed" and "We check I.D." posted all over it. Upon entering the building, the sweet smell of incense quickly becomes overwhelming as the aroma intoxicates the senses. The sudden glare from the bright fluorescent lights is temporarily blinding. Though it takes mere seconds for the eyes to make the adjustment to the light and focus on the colored blurs of the stores contents, one is still distracted by the store clerk's question: "May I see your I.D. please?" Dressed like a punk rocker with dark hair, facial piercings, and a lot of tattoos, the store clerk seemed to fit in with the rebellious impression one gets from just being in a store dripping with sexual taboos. The customers seem to be more out of place, with the men dressed in casual clothes and women in more trendy fashions not unlike what you would see walking through the mall. It makes you wonder what the customers were doing before they decided to enter into such a place—Perhaps walking their dog, playing with their kids, or maybe just getting off of work—who knows? The only thing that is certain is that they appear to be as normal as anyone else. So how did they find themselves in an adult retail store?
The adult retail industry's world of condoms, clothes, vibrators, videos, pornography, and party favors is home to "tens of millions of Americans"—a sizeable portion of the U.S. population (Herbenick, Reece, Sherwood-Puzzello, 2007). The adult industry's products are sold in adult retail stores frequented by these Americans. A store is considered an adult retail store if it is a "business selling products considered sexual in nature, such as adult bookstores, video stores, sex shops, or other [sex oriented] outlets" (Herbenick et al., 2007). Consumers flock to these businesses despite cultural taboos about sexuality and the tendency for the morally self-righteous conclusions of it leading to sexually deviant behavior. While some people are completely comfortable about their sexuality, others blush at the thought of entering "that" kind of store and having someone see them there—even though they would both be there for the same purpose. The thought of purchasing a sex toy makes some women uneasy because they have been conditioned to believe sex is personal and shouldn't be enhanced by artificial means. Some men may even be jealous of sex toys as if they are somehow replacing them. In today's society, patronizing an adult retail store is no different than buying condoms from the local drugstore in the 1960s. While sex in the new millennium may have advanced technologically, socially it still has a long way to go.
Exiting the freeway, one can't help but notice a bright neon sign hanging above the plate glass windows along the front of the store. The parking lot is practically empty with the exception of a few cars. Traffic is sparse, but this is not unusual since it is half past midnight and the store closes at one o'clock. The atmosphere outside is quiet, allowing one's imagination to entertain thoughts of wonder, fear, and a strange sense of adventure. Looking at the lingerie-propped window displays through tinted glass, one can only imagine what world lies behind the door with "No one under eighteen allowed" and "We check I.D." posted all over it. Upon entering the building, the sweet smell of incense quickly becomes overwhelming as the aroma intoxicates the senses. The sudden glare from the bright fluorescent lights is temporarily blinding. Though it takes mere seconds for the eyes to make the adjustment to the light and focus on the colored blurs of the stores contents, one is still distracted by the store clerk's question: "May I see your I.D. please?" Dressed like a punk rocker with dark hair, facial piercings, and a lot of tattoos, the store clerk seemed to fit in with the rebellious impression one gets from just being in a store dripping with sexual taboos. The customers seem to be more out of place, with the men dressed in casual clothes and women in more trendy fashions not unlike what you would see walking through the mall. It makes you wonder what the customers were doing before they decided to enter into such a place—Perhaps walking their dog, playing with their kids, or maybe just getting off of work—who knows? The only thing that is certain is that they appear to be as normal as anyone else. So how did they find themselves in an adult retail store?
The adult retail industry's world of condoms, clothes, vibrators, videos, pornography, and party favors is home to "tens of millions of Americans"—a sizeable portion of the U.S. population (Herbenick, Reece, Sherwood-Puzzello, 2007). The adult industry's products are sold in adult retail stores frequented by these Americans. A store is considered an adult retail store if it is a "business selling products considered sexual in nature, such as adult bookstores, video stores, sex shops, or other [sex oriented] outlets" (Herbenick et al., 2007). Consumers flock to these businesses despite cultural taboos about sexuality and the tendency for the morally self-righteous conclusions of it leading to sexually deviant behavior. While some people are completely comfortable about their sexuality, others blush at the thought of entering "that" kind of store and having someone see them there—even though they would both be there for the same purpose. The thought of purchasing a sex toy makes some women uneasy because they have been conditioned to believe sex is personal and shouldn't be enhanced by artificial means. Some men may even be jealous of sex toys as if they are somehow replacing them. In today's society, patronizing an adult retail store is no different than buying condoms from the local drugstore in the 1960s. While sex in the new millennium may have advanced technologically, socially it still has a long way to go.
Education and Segregation: The African-American Southern Baptist Experience (english paper)
Excerpt from English 3300D paper:
Imagine having to be escorted to class by armed guards because there is a huge crowd of people so consumed with hate and fear that they would rather see you dead than attend school with them and/or their children. Imagine being pelted with rocks while walking down the street, having food dumped on you because you sat at a lunch counter, having the police officers that are sworn to uphold the law and protect American citizens release their dogs and turn high-powered fire hoses on a crowd of men, women, children, or being so desensitized to death that the foul stench of a lynched Blackman's body strung up in a tree causes not one missed step as you pass by. As unimaginable and reprehensible as these things may seem now they were a regular occurrence for post-slavery African-Americans in this country.
While many people condemn slavery as a cruel and barbaric practice, slaves were actually a lot safer in America than the freed blacks were. Ex-slaves, that were no longer considered valuable property, were unable to count on the protection they had once been afforded by their former masters (Oshinsky, 1996, p. 25). These former slaves soon became subject to severe discrimination and various oppressive laws, such as Jim Crow, the Black Codes, and the Pig Law, that were "designed to drive [them] back to their home plantations" and maintain the same level of social inequality that had existed in the South during slavery (Oshinsky, 1996, p.21). Although emancipation ended slavery it did not put an end to the assumption about Blacks upon which slavery was based (Oshinsky, 1996, p. 17). The idea of justifying slavery by claiming Black inferiority and incompetence led to the lack of interest in supplying adequate and equal education for the former slaves. Blacks were only capable of being slaves requiring no need for formal education, and many people who tried to teach them were considered troublemakers and attacked. This belief in Black incompetence and inferiority poses a quandary as to the motivation behind such forceful denial of education. Why deny a people the right to obtain an education when their intellectual inferiority renders them incapable of learning? What is the fear that motivates the extensive methods used to preserve white supremacy? The answer, according to noted author, poet, and professor Nikki Giovanni, is that "the laws […] were made not because we were incapable. You do not have to legislate against incapability […] unless there is the knowledge that if that person becomes educated he or she will no longer be my slave" (1994, p. 92-93).
Imagine having to be escorted to class by armed guards because there is a huge crowd of people so consumed with hate and fear that they would rather see you dead than attend school with them and/or their children. Imagine being pelted with rocks while walking down the street, having food dumped on you because you sat at a lunch counter, having the police officers that are sworn to uphold the law and protect American citizens release their dogs and turn high-powered fire hoses on a crowd of men, women, children, or being so desensitized to death that the foul stench of a lynched Blackman's body strung up in a tree causes not one missed step as you pass by. As unimaginable and reprehensible as these things may seem now they were a regular occurrence for post-slavery African-Americans in this country.
While many people condemn slavery as a cruel and barbaric practice, slaves were actually a lot safer in America than the freed blacks were. Ex-slaves, that were no longer considered valuable property, were unable to count on the protection they had once been afforded by their former masters (Oshinsky, 1996, p. 25). These former slaves soon became subject to severe discrimination and various oppressive laws, such as Jim Crow, the Black Codes, and the Pig Law, that were "designed to drive [them] back to their home plantations" and maintain the same level of social inequality that had existed in the South during slavery (Oshinsky, 1996, p.21). Although emancipation ended slavery it did not put an end to the assumption about Blacks upon which slavery was based (Oshinsky, 1996, p. 17). The idea of justifying slavery by claiming Black inferiority and incompetence led to the lack of interest in supplying adequate and equal education for the former slaves. Blacks were only capable of being slaves requiring no need for formal education, and many people who tried to teach them were considered troublemakers and attacked. This belief in Black incompetence and inferiority poses a quandary as to the motivation behind such forceful denial of education. Why deny a people the right to obtain an education when their intellectual inferiority renders them incapable of learning? What is the fear that motivates the extensive methods used to preserve white supremacy? The answer, according to noted author, poet, and professor Nikki Giovanni, is that "the laws […] were made not because we were incapable. You do not have to legislate against incapability […] unless there is the knowledge that if that person becomes educated he or she will no longer be my slave" (1994, p. 92-93).
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